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Is insulting your pet's intelligence (IE "you're a dumb dog! dumb dog!" while petting your dog) or threatening it with harm (IE "ARE YOU SCRATCHING THE COUCH!? STOP IT OR I'LL TURN YOU INTO FUZZY MITTENS!") funny or douchey?

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( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
__45rpm__
Dec. 3rd, 2010 12:30 am (UTC)
Funny.
graphemes
Dec. 3rd, 2010 12:34 am (UTC)
I threaten to take mine to the orphanage when they're bad. I hope I'm not ruining their psyches.

__45rpm__
Dec. 3rd, 2010 12:39 am (UTC)
I threaten my dog with the glue factory. It doesn't even make sense, because he's got no hooves.
graphemes
Dec. 3rd, 2010 12:42 am (UTC)
I also frequently tell mine "Pretty sure you have rabies, enjoy your day." Worst dog mom evar, y/y?
malizioso_shine
Dec. 3rd, 2010 02:51 am (UTC)
HA! My husband does this too!
oddityangel
Dec. 3rd, 2010 12:40 am (UTC)
Hilarious (to me, anyway). I'm pretty sure my cat thinks his name is 'Stupid.'
freakshownia
Dec. 3rd, 2010 12:46 am (UTC)
My husbands tells the cats he's going to turn them into a hats if they're naughty. I don't think it's funny but they don't seem to mind.
thexphial
Dec. 3rd, 2010 12:52 am (UTC)
Inexcusable. You know you're just teaching them negativity. How will they make friends at the dog park if you have taught them to hate themselves?
ms_hecubus
Dec. 3rd, 2010 12:53 am (UTC)
Then you'll have to put up with the weepy, emo teen years. All they'll want to wear is spiked collars and velvet coats. And have you ever seen a dog who has cried its mascara off? Pitiful!

Edited at 2010-12-03 12:54 am (UTC)
thexphial
Dec. 3rd, 2010 12:58 am (UTC)
Exactly. You're looking at dogs who think they would be happier as vampire bats. Soon all they'll want to do is sit around playing game online, howling along to the emo music, and texting, which is not easy without opposable thumbs.
ms_hecubus
Dec. 3rd, 2010 12:52 am (UTC)
I warned my cat that if I caught him on the counter one more time last night he'd have to sleep outside. Not only did he not get on the counter again he stayed out of all other types of trouble too. I'd say effective.
(Deleted comment)
druiaen
Dec. 3rd, 2010 01:23 am (UTC)
My husband thinks it's hilarious, it makes me sad because somehow I swear they know what he's saying and he's just giving them some kind of inferiority complexes. But really, it's funny.
doxamully
Dec. 3rd, 2010 02:02 am (UTC)
Pretty damn hilarious.

My boyfriend's brother and sister-in-law call their dog "dummy" sometimes and as a result their two year old twins call her "gummy" which is too cute.
renishas
Dec. 3rd, 2010 02:30 am (UTC)
Mostly funny as long as the threats aren't backed up by actual violence.

I refer to the dogs as Dumber and Dumberer or Dumdum and Numnutts and I tell threaten then with bodily harm if they risk waking up the baby.
juel1979
Dec. 4th, 2010 04:49 pm (UTC)
My husband calls the oldest two "Itchy" (oldest has allergies, the shots still haven't kicked in 100% yet) and "Bitchy" (the middle one is trying to take over as alpha dog and not quite getting there). The little one doesn't have anything that could rhyme with that. LOL
gindaisy
Dec. 3rd, 2010 03:45 am (UTC)
I will threaten them but somehow insulting them seems worse. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense.
jesskathand
Dec. 3rd, 2010 07:02 pm (UTC)
funny but I do need to watch what I say to the cats in front of my 2 year old who repeats everything.

I shouldn't tell the cats that I'm going to cut them up into tiny pieces.
juel1979
Dec. 4th, 2010 04:48 pm (UTC)
My husband is like "we really gotta curb calling ours 'the bitches' once our kid is born and eventually can start talking."

Even my friends and my mom call them "the bitches." I told my husband that it'll just lead to really fostering our kids into being pedantic, "it's the right word, though, right?" Can't really argue with that one. =P
jesskathand
Dec. 4th, 2010 09:29 pm (UTC)
hahah it is the correct word!

juel1979
Dec. 4th, 2010 04:46 pm (UTC)
We joke about what we'd marinate each dog in, and often say they're too skinny/stringy to eat yet, so we'll keep them around. LOL It's an inside joke between my husband and me, though, not really something we do in front of others. Considering I barely eat meat at all, I find it kinda funny. It actually helps with my problem of taking EVERYTHING so damn literally. =P

Growing up we had a dog named DC, he only ever got called DC, but I was told it stood for Dumb Critter, which was ironic, as he was generally super smart (except about the "pretend to throw something, but really hold onto it" thing). Miss that dog. =(
ginny_toxic
Dec. 5th, 2010 03:45 am (UTC)
For the weeks leading up to getting my dog neutured every time he misbehaved I told him I'd cut his balls off.

I think he believes my threats now!
coendou
Dec. 5th, 2010 08:29 pm (UTC)
Funny as long as you don't mean it.

But I'm trying to break the habit because I'm pregnant and don't want to accidentally say the same sort of thing to the baby. It's bad enough that my nickname for Fred is Ugly, and I'm always asking him why he's such an ugly dog, etc - to the point where now my brain thinks that "ugly" is a synonym for "cute" and I have almost accidentally told other people's pets/babies (as well as my husband) that they're so ugly. :)

So overall, I need to cut down on the joking insults or I'll give my kid a complex.
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )